In his third letter, John addresses the critical importance of a leader's character. Rather than viewing leadership merely as a set of management styles, John emphasizes that leadership stems from the leader’s character.
Both positive and negative models of leadership exist in the church today, as illustrated by John through the examples of Gaius and Diotrephes.
The Prideful Leader, Diotrephes — “who likes to put himself first”
In 3 John 9–10, Diotrephes gives a remarkably compact picture of prideful, unhealthy leadership. The central phrase is: “who likes to put himself first.” Everything else seems to flow from that desire for preeminence.
The presence of these traits in a leader or within an organization signals a toxic, cultic environment and reveals a profound defect in the leader's character.
A prideful leader:
- Wants to be first — leadership becomes about position, recognition, influence, or control rather than service.
- Resists accountability & authority — Diotrephes “does not acknowledge our authority.” Pride makes accountability feel threatening.
- Attacks people who challenge him — he speaks “wicked nonsense” against John and his coworkers. Instead of engaging truthfully, he undermines their credibility.
- Rejects people he cannot control — he refuses to welcome the traveling brothers. His circle becomes defined by loyalty to himself rather than loyalty to Christ.
- Controls the actions of others — he not only refuses hospitality himself but “stops those who want to.” Pride moves from personal attitude to controlling organizational culture.
- Punishes disagreement — he “puts them out of the church.” Authority becomes a weapon for protecting the leader's position.
- Creates a culture of fear — people learn that disagreeing with the leader may carry consequences.
- Confuses personal authority with God’s authority — opposition to Diotrephes effectively becomes grounds for exclusion, even though the apostolic authority actually lies with John.
- Uses leadership to protect himself rather than serve others — the entire pattern moves inward: my position, my authority, my reputation, my control.
A prideful leader needs to be first, needs to be right, needs to control, and increasingly treats anyone who threatens those needs as a problem.
There is an interesting progression in the passage:
Pride NEVER remains merely an internal character problem. When combined with authority, it eventually becomes an organizational catastrophe.
The Humble Leader, Gaius — “who is walking in the truth”
Gaius is a deliberate contrast to Diotrephes. Where Diotrephes “likes to put himself first,” Gaius puts truth, love, and the mission of Christ first.
Based on 3 John 1–8, a humble, godly leader like Gaius:
- Walks in the truth — truth is not merely something he believes or teaches; it shapes how he lives. His character and conduct are aligned.
- His leadership flows from spiritual health rather than ambition or insecurity — John says, “as it goes well with your soul.”
- Has a good reputation with others — his character is observable and confirmed by people around him.
- Is faithful — “It is a faithful thing you do.” He can be trusted to consistently do what is right, even when there is little or no recognition.
- Demonstrates love through action — people testify not simply that Gaius talks about love, but about his love expressed practically.
- Welcomes and serves others — unlike Diotrephes, who refuses to welcome the brothers, Gaius receives them—even though they are strangers.
- Is generous and hospitable — he uses what he has to strengthen others rather than using others to strengthen his own position.
- Empowers people for mission — John encourages him to “send them on their journey in a manner worthy of God.” Gaius doesn't need to control the ministry himself; he helps others succeed in their calling.
- Puts the mission above himself — his concern is “the sake of the name.” The name of Jesus, not the name of Gaius, is what matters.
- Collaborates rather than controls — by supporting those who go, he becomes a “fellow worker for the truth.” He understands ministry as partnership.
- Creates an environment where others can flourish — rather than excluding people who threaten his influence, he welcomes, supports, and sends them.
The indelible mark of leadership is immediately evident whenever you step into a community, church, or organization. A culture where individuals are empowered, equipped, and walking in truth while advancing the mission reveals a dedicated leader who sacrifices deeply and invests tirelessly for the good of the group.
The prideful leader operates from a posture of self-preeminence, transforming leadership into a mechanism for personal control and recognition. By placing his own authority above the mission and viewing accountability, disagreement, or independent talent as threats, he creates a toxic environment characterized by fear, exclusion, and relational fragmentation. Ultimately, his leadership is defined by self-preservation, where the organization exists to serve his reputation rather than the collective calling.